Monday, November 20, 2017

From the Outside In

Living outside of the scene is turning into quite the tricky situation.  When kitten and I met I had already announced that I would be leaving the public aspect of the scene.  I had been very active in the scene for 20 years.  I had gone from new to the local scene although my involvement had actually started a few years prior to that in another state to fairly well entrenched over that time.  She was brand spanking new!
To be honest when we first started out I did not envision getting seriously involved with her.  She was married and I was very comfortable in my lifestyle sans partner.  I was Polyamorous in relationships and play. But things just fell into place and grew faster and further than I think either of us intended.  kitten made it clear that when I left she was leaving also.  At first I was cautious but when we started to get involved she made it clear she was in this for me and me alone. Flattering to a guy in his 60’s that such a beautiful and curious younger…way younger Woman than I would see things that way.

For me leaving the scene was a combination of things.  One was that I never intended to be that involved in the scene.  I started out just looking for a partner to share this all with privately.  There were quite a few obstacles for finding this because the community was not terribly diverse or accepting of People of Color. So I relegated myself to creating my own way into the community by not giving them a choice and doing what I wanted by showing up at events and hosting my own. 

I became know enough through giving parties, munches and events and developed a core of play partners that I could meet at the local Dungeon spaces, although no one wanted to meet privately or develop a relationship.  Not sure if that was about color or just me.  But I was quite content to date vanilla and play publicly within the scene. I also had a larger selection of vanilla play partners who wanted nothing to do with the scene or to be described as kinky in that way.  I had also recently ended a 10 year Polyamorous relationship. That was my life and involvement in the scene for 19 years. 

Now I will say that I have never been one for the descriptors or dynamics hard wired into the scene.  My ideas and practices had started long before I actually entered the scene or even knew there was anyone besides me doing wat I did, which was primarily Spanking and living what is described by the scene as a HOH relationships.

Even though I do not prescribe totally to labels and believing literally everything as set down that many believe is the only way to life this life.  I came pretty fully formed with my own ideas and personal structure.  But I did see the need for people to understand the history and the whys and wherefores of all of this if for nothing else their own personal safety.  And to be truthful once I started going to classes and meeting people outside of my own particular kinks I began to believe it was useful to at least understand the basics of it all and then forming your own path.   

As I stretched and began to explore I could see there was so much that was in line with my thinking about things and the more I began to give classes and speak on topics related to the scene it became clearer what possibilities there were for growth.

I began mentoring and guiding people, became a go to source for some people.  But through all of this I never felt I was a fully accepted member of the community and to be honest because of whatever notoriety I may have gained the scene was starting to become less and less about my enjoyment and more and more about everyone else’s enjoyment through me.  I didn’t feel connected to the people I was playing with.  And as I said this was always more personal than public for me because I am a painfully shy and insular person.

So meeting kitten was a huge thing.  I finally met someone that I felt emotionally and romantically connected to.  I felt that I knew enough about the way things worked that I could teach her, show her and be a mentor. 

I had also decided that I would stay in touch with the local Dungeon for whom I had spent a year on the Board of Directors for and that I called my home base and attend the 3 annual fundraiser events they hold throughout the year.  And since they are on my Google calendar I could follow classes that I felt kitten could attend to gain insights I don’t feel I could give her alone.  A good plan, right?  HA…they always seem like good plans until you put them in action!

What I hadn’t factored in was so very basic it is almost embarrassing.    The more new people venture in the more they find out about themselves.  Some things trigger them into areas that are rooted in their childhood, environment, past relationships from all segments of who they are.  All of this means that they will be curious, find comfort and safe places to access that are constantly changing and evolving the more knowledge and experiences they gain.

And this is what is making things difficult for me and I know for her.  While I fully believe you can always gain more information I also know that for me there were no other areas I was interested in growing with.  And the newer hard skills I have developed over the years were just fine as I intended to use them.

kitten recognized this before I did.  And we have come to an agreement that allows her to still stay connected to the scene and go to classes and some small events geared to the areas that have resonated with her.  While I am not going to be going to any of them we have agreed she can go on her own, build friendships within the limits we (ok, mostly I have) set that will allow her to explore more. 

We are very early on in this and I won’t say there aren’t some REAL rough edges to be worked around.  However we are trying to make our way in order to have the most open relationship we can have with each other without cheating her of her personal growth.

I really want kitten to feel like she is having her needs met and I am fighting the egocentric belief that I can teach her everything…but damn it’s hard!

Sunday, November 19, 2017

A Huge Thanks to Everyone Who stopped By

Thanks for making kitten and I feel Welcome

kitten and I really appreciated everyone who stopped by our little Blog.  It has been fun reading everyone's own take on TTWD. 

And a special thank you to Hermione for posting ours and everyone else's Blog on her LOL post It made all the difference in the world for pulling more people to us all.

And keep visiting us and sharing your comments.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Adult Kitten Has Plans...shhh...Don't Tell DaddyCat

Adult kitten here.
Tonight I have special needs and plans for DaddyCat
He got me a kitty tail and I’ve only gotten to wear it a few times, but tonight I NEED it. My body is tender at the moment, but not so much so that my needs are dampened.

Me in my tail
I need to be his pet. I need to be touched everywhere and stroked and spanked and pet and ....well, you get the idea. I need primal touches that satiate the hunger I’ve had from missing him and not being able to see him lately.  I am an incredibly physical being. When I do not have that I become sad, despondent, at a loss...

Tonight I need Daddy to care for me and I hope he’s up for that. Only his hands will do. Only his arms, his chest, his eyes, his being. I need him desperately. I need to be his lady cat tonight

Friday, November 17, 2017

Our First LOL Is Here!!!

We started this blog because we believe our relationship is reflective of the things others go through in developing and defining their paths in the world.

We encourage you to post comments, share your experiences as we share ours.  As I look around at some of the Blogs I visit regularly I understand they built their Followers by offering something they want.  Provides them a place to go for aspiration, inspiration and validation.

Maybe it’s just about talking to ourselves and allowing you all to look in from time to time and feel
So to give a little something more to consider, the stories we tell are real, the people are real and the all the spankings depicted in video and pictures are really us.

Today we are talking spanking.  The kind of spanking we like to do.  It’s how we met.  I think it’s what she was captured by about me. 
Sometimes it’s all about fun, just spanking for spankings sake.  Just get over my knee…yank and spank kind of fun.   I truly love having her over my lap.  It relaxes and excites me all at the same time.

Other times it’s about discipline.  Correcting behaviors.  The kind of spankings that end up with her in the corner contemplating what put her there.  But at the end she understands she is loved and feelings don’t linger.
Sometimes it's just cute to see them there. kitten loves her corner time

Then there are the times where it is all about the sensuality of it all.  Touching, caressing, and finding our rhythm together.  As a Sensual Sadist I love bending and twisting energy.  The kind of spankings that you can spend hours on

I think sometimes the above feels like this for kitten

Starting to feel like being Lurkers no more and making a little comment?  If you like what you’re reading from us feel free to Follow us. Tell a friend.  Hope you continue to read as we post and grow.

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